So last night I lay in bed and right before I go to sleep I always listen to Mackinley with the heart monitor (THANK YOU KARRIE/ MARY and JASON) and everytime I would find her heart beat she would kick the monitor. It was hilarioius. I know she was kicking it because I would feel it move in my hand. It was like she was saying to me "I'm fine mom. Leave me alone so I can sleep." I am learning on this roller coaster of life that no matter how far down the ride may go, if you look for them there are always ups. Even if they last but a moment.
As Jared and I work on preparations for when it is time to let her go. We decided that we will have a small memorial service then the grave side service. A part of me feels as though I should speak at the memorial service but I don't think I am strong enough for that... It's hard to know what to do. I never imagined I would be burying a baby.
I know you have no idea who I am but I found your blog through my coworker. I am amazed at your faith through all of this. I can't even imagine all the emotions and thoughts that are going through your head right now. I just wanted you to know that my testimony was strengthened through reading your posts. What a great opportunity you and your family have in the coming weeks. You were able to give McKinley a body and that's all she needed. She will be in the Celestial kingdom waiting for you and your family. I'm sure that's nothing that you haven't heard before but I felt that I needed to share that with you. Good luck in the next few weeks!
ReplyDelete