Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Now what

Jared and I had decided to have Mackinley here at the local hospital where we would be in the care of doctor's we know and surrounded by family. Today i took our 4 year old to the family doctor for a sinus infection. After seeing Tucker the Doctor asked me some questions about Mackinley. It was then that I learned that our hospital doesn't have the equipment it would need to support Mackinley if she makes to term and cann't breathe on her own. So if this was the case and aside from the breathing she is strong enough to survive for a while she would have to be transferred to another hospital. NOW WHAT....
Do we have her here knowing that she more then likely will not be able to breath on her own, and just let her come and slip away. or do we go somewhere else where they will have the necessary equipment to support her if her lungs aren't fully functional? I thought we had it all figured out. And once again here we are lost in the unknown...
Is it fair to force her to breathe knowing that in the end the result is unavoidable... it's not a question of if she will die, it is how much do we do to keep her here?

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