Sunday, January 23, 2011

Simple answers

I sit here tonight going over birth plans on the trisomy 28 web site. Wondering how it came to this. I am 32 weeks now. 3 months ago we were told Mackinley has Trisomy 18 and it is "not compatible with life" And so now here I sit. reviewing birth plans from other parents that have been in our situation. What do I want for Mackinley? A simple questions, with a simple answer. I want her to LIVE!!! It's too bad we can't always get what we want. And why is that? Another simple answer to a simple question. Because our Heavenly Father loves us. HE knows what is best. ANd while it may not seem the best for us at the time, I am sure down the road I will look back and know without a doubt in my mind that this was what was best not only for me but my entire family. Do I have to like it right now? NO.... but even now I am thankful for the beautiful baby girl that has touched my family in ways I could have never imagined. And this in turn makes me so thankful to a loving Heavenly Father that knows what is best. SO really what do I want for Mackinley? a simple question with a simple answer. I want whatever Heavenly Father has in store for her. Whether it be minutes, hours, days, or more. Or even if it is only for the time she lives within me. I want what he wants. Because he loves her and knows what is best. Does that make it any easier? No, as I type this i can barely see the keys through my tears. But "He never said it would be easy. He only said it would be worth it."
Posted by at

2 comments:

  1. JanellJanuary 23, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Hang in there. We are all aching with you and loving you and your family. And crying too. Love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJanuary 25, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    Approximately 22 months ago, I was in your same position. My heart goes out to you because I remember too well the pain of trying to put together a perfect birth plan for our daughter, Lily.

    I'm sure you know this, but there are flip sides to the statistics. Lily is now 20 months old! Even after 20 months, it is not easy, but you know, it is so "worth it"! And I find your statement such a testament to God, because I hear it from so many people who have faced Trisomy 18, regardless of how long they have had with their child.

    In the meantime, I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jill

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)