An amazing gift

This past weekend was a unique one. I never imagined I would be buying funeral plots for me, Jared, and a baby. We made another trip back to the OB. Mackinley's heart rate was up at 163. But as long as we are under 180 things are okay. From there we met with our famiy doctor sicne her will be her treating physician. We discussed with him our wishes. And are now in the process of coming up with a birth plan thatwill be signed by us and both doctoirs that way if for some reason one of the doctors is gone they will know what we want. Our family doctor was AMAZING as we discussed it he about started to cry. This little girl that has yet to arrive is touching many people. and for this i am thankful.
We were also blessed to have family/maternity pictures take by a wonderful friend. THANK YOU JENNY!!! It will be so wonderful to be able to look back and ( even though I feel INCREDIBLY round) have the pics from when I was carrying Mackinley.
I am 31 1/2 weeks now and sometimes I feel a sense of panic. Will I be able to truley handle letting my baby go when the time comes? But, deep within I feel a sense of peace. That I will be blessed with an understanding beyond my own. And a peace that can be brought only by knowing the plan of salvation. That wile I will have to say goodbye, it will only be temporary. What a blessing it is to be sealed in the Temple to a wonderful man. Knowing that if i do the best i can I will be able to hold my sweet little Mackinley Ann.
I often feel that this trial has been placed before us to teach my children. To help them learn and grow. So that they can become the people that our Heavenly Father knows they can be. They never cease to amaze me. Even little Jordyn loves MAckinley so much. Everytime she has a spare second she says to me "I say morning Kinley, mom." (even if it is the middle of the day) And I say yes. Then she says morning and I love you Kinley. And they all bless her in their prayers. Tucker says that when we get to Heaven he will feed her and change her diapers. He loves her in a way only a brother can. And Avery, tells me all the time " Mom i just want to hold her one time. To tell her I love her and that if she could stay I would be a good sister and share all my stuff with her."
Children are such a blessing. And I never realized how amazing of a gift they truely are until I learned I would have to give mine back. As people around me and people i know have babies my heart fills with joy for them because i believe I can honestly say I fully understand the miracle they are being given