Giving up

I sometimes wonder if people think I have given up. That I don't believe Mackinley could have a miracle. And while I fully believe thaat if our Haven;y Father's plan is for her to stay, she will. But, I have felt very strongly that while she may stay for a time it will not be very lojng. How long that is. Nobody knows. I can tell she has already lived longer then she "should have" with all the complications she has. And maybe a while will be months, it could also be weeks, days, hours, or minutes. Whatever it is it will be what it is supposed to. And I will be happy with whatever i get. Because I have already been blessed with more time then I should have gotten. Only 30% of Trisomy babies deliver alive. We are at 30 weeks, which is father then most get. So while I would love a miracle, I pray for what is Best for Mackinley, because accompanying the trisomy is spinabifida. And I want no pain of suffering for her. Even if that means losing her.... So have I given up? "NO" I just want what will be the best for her. And pray for the strength to get me through whatever that may be.