Our Prayers are Answered

Monday March 7th, 2011 our little angel MAckinley Ann Koyle returned home to her Heavenly Father. After spending all night in the hospital and taking a pill every three hours to help my labor go faster my body went into labor on it's own. As we have gone through this there have been many small miracles. The nurse gave me an extra pill, a blessing from Heaven. The doctor was worried that the pitocin would make my contractions to hard on Mackinley so the extra pill made me n ot need any pitocin at all. Because MAckinley was bottom first-breech they were hoping to deliver her in the fluid sack to prevent the possibility of her becoming stuck in the birth canal. At 12:00 pm Dr Dowdle came in and said I was fully dialated. At that point I didn't feel the need to push. At about 12:15 the nurse came inn and I told her I needed to push. This had to be the most terrifying moment of my life. I knew that while pushing would give Mackinley to us it would also take her away. And so at 12:20 I began pushing. Because of MAckinley's condition I had excessive fluid, and while they had hoped that my bag would stay intact it ruptered. You would have thought someone had just dumped a 5 gallon bucket on the floor. The blessings continued to abound after 7 minutes of pushing and manuvering Mackinley she delivered breech without a single problem. Her proud daddy cut the cord as she lay on my chest. Her heartrate dropped from 129 to 80. And as we knew there would be moments where she would not breath we just held her and loved her. She took 4 small cries and at 12:52 her heart stopped beating. Her birth certificate says she lived 15 minutes but I knew she was with us for longer then that. Her spirit stayed long enough for everyone that came to feel of her presence. I remember the moment someone was holding her and they gave her back to me and I knew she was gone. And it was okay. We have spent the last 6 months praying for the opportunity to hold her so she could feel our love, and that was what we received. And so while I willl always miss her I am okay because I know she is waiting for me, and she is whole and knws how much we love her. And I will thank my heavenly Father for every second I was able to have her in my arms, and to see the pride on Jared's face as held our beautiful baby girl.